Chapter 9: Loving you hurts

Hi you guys!!!!! I missed you guys so freaking much. I just want to let you know that if I don't post on time it's not because I’m being lazy. A lot is going on in my life and sometimes it gets the best of me and takes up my time to write. In this chapter, there are really graphic moments. That's all I'll say about that. I really can't wait to hear your feedback; I seriously love your comments. This chap. opens a door for a lot of things, so I really hope you guys enjoy it. Anyways I'm gonna stop talking. GO READ.
- Jodi :)

*The Next Morning*

I shot up out of my sleep, breathing really hard. I was trying to catch my breath. I had sweat all over my forehead. I must have had a nightmare. I wonder what I was dreaming about. I felt a slight draft coming from the cracked window. My nipples immediately became hard. I never sleep with my clothes off... but I guess it was hot last night. I brought arms up to stretch when I felt a draft again. I got up and shut the annoying window. Damn, that was loud. I put my hand to my head rubbing it. Shit gave me a headache. Just as I was about to go back to bed I realized something. I don't have windows in my room this small. I looked around the place some more. This is not even my room...what the fuck. I ran back to the bed side, searching for my clothes, and my belongings. I picked up my bra and leggings. I put everything on ready to get out of this mysterious place. Where am I? I looked up, and I noticed a body on the bed. I was officially in panic mode. All I could think of was please please PLEASE lord I hope I did sleep with this man. I slowly walked over to that side of the bed and there Tony was. Effortlessly laying there, revealing his bare skin. I reached out and lightly shook him,

"Tony....Tony wake up!" I whispered. He shifted, but didn't get up. I rose my hand and brought it down hard. Waking Tony up with a slap.

"I said wake the fuck up." I glared at him.

"AHHH?" He screamed.

I squinted my eyes at his loud scream.

"Can you be quiet please. You're giving me a massive headache." He looked at me like I was crazy.

"Look. We need to talk so get up."

He pulled the covers back and slowly got out of bed. He stood tall over me. He barely had any clothes on, but I was too busy worrying about other things to even be turned on. He looked down at me with a weird look.

"Let's go to the kitchen. I'll make us some coffee, because this hangover is not a joke." He said.

I shook my head in agreement.

" I know it's your house and everything but could you put on some pants first?" He nodded.

"Yea sure. I'll be right back, you can go ahead into the kitchen just open this door right there." He started to walk into his closet.

"Oh wait!" I said.

He turned around and looked at me questionably.

"Put on a shirt too please." He smiled.

"Sure. I know my body is too hard to resist." He said while walking away.

I got scared. Was he saying that to be funny or was he saying that because maybe we did do something last night. Oh my God this can't be happening. I continued to think about all the terrible outcomes of last night, as I walked into his kitchen. I pulled out out a chair and sat down. I tapped my nails on the table. Safaree must be worried as hell. But what the hell am I gonna tell him "oh I spent the night at my new friend Tony's house," he would go bizerk. Especially with all the stuff that's been going on. I lost my train of thought when Tony walked into the kitchen. He stared at me as if he was ready to say "hi" again but didn't want to be annoying. So we let the awkward silence take control. I watched him as he walked to the kitchen counter, and searched for some coffee in the cabinets. He rummaged through all his baking Goods. I guess he couldn't find it because a confused look emerged across his face.

"Hey! Don't worry about the coffee just sit down," I told him.

"You sure it only takes a couple minutes I can just -" I cut him off

"I'm sure! Now sit down because we need to talk." He shrugged his shoulders in response to my demand.

He took a seat across from me at the small wooden table. He sat there and looked me in the eyes, waiting for me to talk. Why does he always look me in the eyes? That's really intimidating. It's as if he's looking through me. I got uncomfortable so I looked down at my fidgeting fingers.

"What the hell happened last night?" I asked. Still looking down, I awaited his response.

"You called me to come hang out with you at cashmere's and we turned up," He answered with too much glee. I cringed at the thought of turning up not only with someone I barely know, although he's a nice guy, but the fact I can't really remember anything. This is bad. I don't get reckless like this.

"I can't remember anything," I said looking at him worried.

"Yea, that's because you were fucked up," He laughed. I gave him a concerned stare.

"How "fucked up”?"

"Lets put it this way....You were gone," He said trying not to laugh again.

"Oh no," I whispered.

"I didn't ask you to take me home? I didn't try to call for a ride?" I asked him questionably. It didn't sound like me. Well at least the mature adult me.

"Nah, none of that. But we were both pretty wasted so I got us a cab anyways,"

"Oh, but there was this one guy..." He said. My eyes grew bigger when I heard him say that.

"He was trying to take you in his car, but I was like hell no! I'm not going to let some weird guy just pick you up. He could be a rapist or something." He explained. I was confused. What weird guy was trying to pick me up? Maybe they found out who I really was. Ghat damn Nic you put yourself in so much danger.

"Who was the guy? Did he tell you his name?"

"I really don't know Nicole, I was too wasted to actually comprehend anything." I sighed.

"But I do remember him having a black SUV, but I don't know what kind." I grew interested again.

"Did he have tattoos?" I asked.

"I don't know. Maybe, I couldn't see."

"Was he dark skin? Pretty tall? Around your height?" Tony frowned trying to think back as much as he could.

"Yea actually he did. How'd you know?" Tony questioned me.

My eyes grew wide.

"He knows I was with you and how drunk I was." I said to myself barely above a whisper.

This is bad..... This is really bad. I need to get back home.

"What was that?" He asked.

"Nothing." I reassured him suddenly feeling depressed again.

"I'm so sorry for all this inconvenience I really am-" He cut me off.

"What do you mean? I had a great time with you. Matter of a fact we should hang out more,"

"NO-" I raised my voice.

He looked at me worried. I remembered who I was talking to and lowered my tone,

"No...don't say that. You don't mean that!" There was silence.

"It's about time I head back home but there is one thing I need to ask you,"

"Sure," He answered unsure what was to come next.

" I Need you to be completely honest with me Tony," I stared at him and he nodded agreeably.

"This morning I woke up in your bed with-" I paused when I saw him look down at the table. He seemed to be getting ashamed. Which probably means we had sex. Oh my God this is not happening. He called out to me bringing me back to earth. I guess he saw the discomfort in my face.

"Continue."

"This morning I woke up in your bed with only one article of clothing on. Which was my thong. Everything else was on the floor...." He was quiet.

"Tony look at me," His gaze focused on me.

"Did we have sex last night?" I asked as I put both elbows on the table, covering my eyes with my hands.

"No." He said in a low voice.

I looked up at him in shock.

"Really? Thank God. But why was I naked then?"

"You were drunk Nicole. When you got into the apartment you were still acting as if you were a stripper. So you actually did strip. That's all."

"Oh my fucking gosh. How stupid." It was quiet.

"Well like I said..." I stood up from my seat and gathered my things.

"I'm really sorry for imposing myself on you like this. It's really embarrassing. But I have to go now." He got out of his seat.

"How are you gonna get home?"

He asked me concerned.

"I'll just call a taxi or something," Well I really was just going to call my driver Mason, but I couldn't tell him that.

"What? No way. Let me take you home." He offered.

"No I'm fine. Thank you though."

He walked over to the main kitchen top and grabbed his keys.

" I insist. Lets go."

"Wait."

He threw me a sweat shirt of his.

"Stay warm." He said.

How could I turn that down? He's really sweet and I owe him a lot for involving him in this mess. I followed him throughout his beautiful decorated halls in his small modern apartment, and out the door we went.

*******

"Thanks for dropping me home," Nicki said looking out his car window.

"No problem." Tony said looking at her worried.

"Nic are you sure you want to be here by yourself?"

She turned and looked at him.

"I'm not alone.......but I feel like I am," She answered faintly.

"Is there something going on in there? Is someone hurting you?"

She did answer. She was In a trance again.

"That's it. You're coming back home with me." Tony demanded.

Nicki snapped out of it and put her hand on his thigh,

"No. I'm fine. I need to be home. Thank you though." She said giving him a weak smile.

"Alright well I'm at least walking you inside," He pushed his door open and got out. By the time he got to Nicki's side she was already at the door door step. He jogged up to her, as she stood there wearing one of his shirts and her arms wrapped around her chest. He stood behind her in efforts to protect her in case something happened. Nicki's eyes stiffened when she saw Safaree peek out the window. They both heard the door unlock, but no one opened it. Tony whispered,

"What's going on?"

Nicki ignored him and walked up to the door. She twisted the knob and it was open. Safaree didn't want to open the door so he just unlocked the door.

"Nicole. Say something," Tony said grabbing a hold of Nic's shoulder. Nicki shrugged her shoulder to get his hand off of her. She spoke with her back facing him,

"Don't call me that. I'm not who you think I am. Sorry for bringing you into my mess. You can go now."

And with that Nicki walked into her house and slammed the door shut. Leaving Tony standing outside befuddled.

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Nicki stood behind the door feeling like shit. She felt bad for treating Tony like that and she wasn't ready for what Safaree was about to say. She collected herself and walked to the kitchen. Safaree was there pacing back and forth. His fist were balled up and his teeth were clenched. Nicki could tell he was pissed. His jaw line was visible. She wasn't in the mood to fight with him. She was still upset at him. She wanted him to feel her pain. So she ignored his actions, and walked to her mini bar. She pulled out a shot glass, and a new bottle of GTV vodka. She poured the liquid in the cool glass, and threw it back. She let the burning drink slide down her throat slowly. When she swallowed, she quickly poured up another drink. Safaree came to a halt, and looked at her with anger,

"So is that the shit you were doing last night?"

She threw the second shot back ignoring him.

"HUH?" He yelled.

She didn't answer. He walked towards her fiercely. When she heard his feet getting closer she spoke up.

"Yea...that's what I was doing, and I was having a hella good time," She replied pouring yet another drink, ignoring the fast that he was towering over her.

"Oh yea. I know you were. BECAUSE YOU FUCKING EMBARASSED ME LAST NIGHT!" Safaree screamed in her face. Nicki truley couldn't remember anything, but he didn't know that.

"What the hell are you talking about?" She asked.

"I'M TALKING ABOUT ME PULLING YOUR ASS OFF THAT DAMN STRIPPER POLE AND TRYING TO TAKE YOU HOME BUT YOU SAID NO," Safaree screamed.

Nicki looked down at the counter trying to recall any of this, but she couldn't.

"YOU CALLED ME A "Meanie" AND SAID I HURT YOU. YOU MADE ME LOOK LIKE A FUCKIN ABUSER! ALL BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HANDLE YOUR SHIT, YOU ALWAYS GOTTA LASH OUT." Safaree walked away and started pacing again. He was heated.

"You don't have to yell at me and be all in my face," Nicki said sheepishly.

Safaree face contorted. Her stomped over to her.

"Are you out of your mind?" Safaree asked, really crushing the space between them. Nicki was scared. She rarely ever saw him this angry, and when she did, she could never stop him.

"YOU HAD ME READY TO KILL A NIGGA LAST NIGHT! TALKIN BOUT SOME "she's going with me". HAD THE NERVE TO TELL ME I CAN'T BRING MY GIRL HOME. AND YOU AGREED WITH HIM," Nicki's heart sunk when she heard the hurt in his voice.

"Who is IS that nigga anyways nic? Since you thought it was okay to go home with him."

She looked down at her feet ashamed.

"He's this guy I met at the store the other night," She answered quietly.

"Did you sleep with him?" He asked her nonchalantly.

She looked at him shocked.

"DID YOU SLEEP WITH HIM ONIKA?" He screamed.

"NO!" She yelled back pisssed that he would even think that.

"But maybe I should have. Maybe he could've got me pregnant." She said trying to hurt him. Safaree had it. He took his arms and swiped them across the granite counter top. Causing the bottle of Vodka and the glass cup to shatter into a million pieces. He turned, grabbed the collar of her shirt, and forced her up against the wall.

"You come in here in this Otha niggas clothes then have the NERVE to say I couldn't get you pregnant AS IF I'm disabled. WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM? YOU BETTER GUESS A FUCKING GAIN, BECAUSE IF I EVER SEE THAT NIGGA EVER AGAIN HE'S DEAD. LITERALLY I'LL PUT SIX BULLETS STRAIGHT INTO THAT SKULL OF HIS," He screamed, literally two inches away from her face. He was about to continue, but he paused when he saw the fear in her eyes. He instantly felt terrible.

"I can smell all that alcohol on your breath," He said calmly staring into her eyes. Indirectly apologizing.

She didn't reply. She was still shaken up by his reaction, but she replied with her eyes. They just looked at each other, not saying a word. Nicki's fear slowly disappeared when she looked through him, knowing that that's not the guy she loves. It’s a monster that never comes out unless you pushed him. She'd caused all if this. She provoked him to get like this, instead of just telling him how she felt. Suddenly she brought both of her hands to his face, and slowly leaned in to kiss him. She captured his soft lips, kissing him like it was the last time. He didn't resist. His grip on her shirt had broken, and he picked her up allowing her legs to wrap her legs around his waist. They passionately kissed for a while as Safaree's hands roamed all over her butt, and her hands caressing the back of his head. They were breathing heavily, as they grew more intimate.

Safaree pulled away and looked at her. Not a look asking for approval, and not a look of anger, but with a look ok infatuation. He loved this woman, no matter what they were going through. After a couple of moments later, Safaree walked near the door where the steps were and carried her up the stairs, and into the bedroom.

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*Nicki's point of view*

I slowly kissed his neck, taking in the sent of his new Calvin Klein Cologne. I loved the way Safaree's soft skin felt against my lips. He slammed my bedroom door shut and put me down. I looked at him confused.

"What is it? Why'd you stop me?" I asked.

He didn't reply. He just walked up to me and stopped. He looked down on me. I was nervous, because I couldn't read him. Then out of no where he grabbed Tony's shirt I was wearing and literally ripped it off my body. I was left in my push up bra from last night, and before I knew it he reached to my back and ripped my bra hooks. I stood there bare, with my chest out. I was so turned on at this point, I needed him in me at that moment. But he gave me a look, and I knew we needed to undress ASAP. We both wanted each other. I quickly slid down my pants and he took off his shirt. He reached for his belt and I stopped him.

"Let me," I said.

He was reluctant, but I insisted. Safaree never liked me giving him head before he pleased me. He said a man is supposed to take care of his woman first. But I wanted to let him know how much I wanted him.

I unbuckled his Gucci belt and zipped his jeans down. I could see his dick hard and erect, ready to break free from his pants. I slowly pushed his briefs and jeans down and there stood 8 long thick inches of glory. I bent down getting on my knees, but he stopped me and ran to the bed. I wondered what he was doing. He came with a pillow and put it on the ground. He's such a gentleman. I got down, and held it in my hands. I stuck my tongue out and circled around his tip. He stared at me with lust. As I began to please him. I licked slowly up and down his shaft, getting him moist. When I was read I opened my mouth and shoved his dick straight to the back of my throat. He jerked as I gagged. I bobbed my head back and forth, making him groan. I slurped and massaged his balls. I could tell he was in a trance, I live to please him. I used one hand to go up and down his shaft. I bobbed my head sucking the tip of his dick. In and out, in and out. I noticed he was stepping further away. I did a few more slurps and he jerked away. His climax was near. He took a hold of my arm and directed me to the bed. He laid down then gave me the signal to lay on top of him. I sat on his stomach for a while. I looked down, tracing my fingers across my name tatted on his chest. I bent down and slowly kissed the tatt. When I looked back up he reached out his hand touching my face. He pulled me down and captured my lips oh so softly. I stuck my tongue in his mouth and he accepted, letting both of our tongues dance around with each other. wet. I broke the kiss and slid down his body. I felt his dick press up against my ass, ready for me. I reached back and got a hold of his dick. I propped myself up and slowly slid him into me.

"Shhhhhittttt," I whispered.

I eased up letting him slide out of me. I'on know why I thought I could take him straight up like that. He chuckled.

"You think you tough now?" He question.

I just rolled my eyes. He's too damn cocky...literally.

"Hold me," He demanded.

I did as told. I laid on his chest, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I rested my head on his shoulder, while I kissed his smooth chocolate skin. I felt his hands grip my ass, and before I knew it he was spreading my cheeks and sliding back in again. I tensed up.

"It's okay. I got you," He said reassuring me.

I felt him entering me inch by inch, and after a while I losing my self. I started to moan. He pumped long deep strokes. He knew that drove me crazy. My eyes were closed, trying to compose myself.

"Faster," I moaned in his ear.

"What?" He asked, slowing his strokes down.

"I said faster, " I whined.

"I can't really hear you," He joked practically stopping.

I started to ride him myself. He grabbed my waist stopping me.

"Oh nah you know it doesn't work like that,"

"Stop teasing faree," I said almost crying.

"Ask for it properly."

"FASTER DAMNIT," I screamed.

Before I could even take a breath he thrusted into me fast and hard.

"AHHHHH FUCK," I screamed.

"What's Wrong? I thought you wanted is fast....er," He mocked, thrusting even harder.

"Oh shit....oh shit..ohhh shittttt." I couldn't take it anymore. I tightened my hold on his dick, and rode him. He broke my rhythm, when he sat up and got out the bed still deep in me. He stoop up,

"Open'em."

I widened my legs allowing him to hook his arm around my knees. I knew this position pretty well, and the damage it can do. I wrapped my arms around his neck, trying to pull and hold myself up.

"Hold on tight."

He picked me up, and pounded into me.

"Fuckkk," He Grunted. I wasn't sure what was turning me on more, the feeling between my legs or the feeling of my ass and boobs rubbing all over his skin, every time I came down on him.

"Sa...far...ee," I said trying to catch my breath.

"I'm gonna...,"

"You Gonna what? Tell me baby. What you gone do?"

"I gonna cum," l moaned.

"No you not." He said taunting me.

"I...ooo shit. I can't...I can't...slow down," He didn't listen. He started kissing and sucking my neck, pounding even harder. I couldn't even think straight. The sound of out skin slapping together got louder.

"Please...Safaree...hold on hold on hol'on," I begged.

He whispered on my neck.

"Don't punk out now, this what you wanted."

I tilted my head back, letting my tears fall slowly down my face. I was loving this feeling, I couldn't take it, and I was crying because I couldn't be sure if this bond would ever be shared again. He took one last long stroke,

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH," I screamed in absolute pleasure.

"Damnnnnn," He said out of breath, as we came together.

He walked us back to the bed, as we crashed on our sheets.

My legs quivered. I was literally weak in the knees. Safaree looked at me, and I stared back. I could tell he wanted to ask something, but whether he was going to say something positive or negative, I knew I didn't have the words right now. I climbed on top of him, rested my hands on his chest, and bent down kissing his soft lips. When I got my strength in my legs back I got off and went into the bathroom.

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Safaree's POV

I can't believe that just happened. I thought as I took a shower. I've made love to Nicki many times before, but that was different. We were angry at each other. We were hurting, and that was our medicine. There's no denying it now. We clearly love each other. But some how we continue to damage what we have. I need to talk to her once and for all. No running away or anything. We're going to understand each other. I walked out the shower and dried off. I picked out some black sweats and a red T-shirt. I'm still pissed at the situation, but I'm not trying to scare her. I put my loafers on, and went downstairs looking for her. She was in the kitchen. I watched her sweep up the glass I'd broken earlier out of anger.

"I'm sorry." I said to her.

She didn't turn around.

"It's fine."

How did we get here? This is bad. I'm hurting her. How? I don't even know. I heard pain in her voice, but if you didn't know her you could never tell she was upset.

"Let me help," I insisted walking up to her.

"No. I'm good. It's done anyways," She replied dryly as she put the glass in the trash. She faced me, but didn't look me in the eyes.

"Can you put this broom away please?" She asked me.

"Yea sure."

I walked to the pantry, and did as told. When I walked back into the kitchen she was drinking again. The anger slowly built up in me again. When did she ever drink this much. This isn't like her. I shook my head.

"Nicki we need to talk. Now." I said approaching her.

She winced, squinting her eyes in pain.

"You good?"

"Yea I'm fine."

She walked to the living room, and I followed. As she bent over to pick up a pillow I saw blood on her gray track pants. I figured it was just her period. But then I realized we just had sex, she's not on her period. More and more blood filled her pants faster and faster. I ran up to her.

"NICKI YOU'RE BLEEDING LIKE CRAZY."

I turned her around, and her eyes were low.

"What?" She said drowsily. ?
What's wrong Nic? Open your eyes." said shaking her.

And before she could reply she passed out in my arms.




Okay what did you guys think? Did you like it ? Please tell me what’s going through your little funny heads. That was actually my first time writing a serious sex scene so let me know how I did. I really want to know if it was realistic.